| to anyone that cares |
[Thursday
June 12th, 2008 @ 1:59am] |
my life is hell... and this is not jessica being over dramatic
michelle is pregnant
talyna has cancer
i got fired from perfect job
dad was in jail this weekend for beating mom
.... and for some unknown reason austin has cut me out 100%
i don't know what to do
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| it wont go away |
[Wednesday
February 6th, 2008 @ 2:28pm] |
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the closer it gets to my birthday... the harder it is to forget what actually happened that day.
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| Things I Miss |
[Thursday
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:02pm] |
chinesse food
panera
captain
sleeping
working
wii
wow
laying on the couch
painting
common market
captain
bathtub
beer
hallway talks
washer/dryer
apple slices
southwestern egg rolls
captain
balcony
the closet
these are also the things that make me happy and sad all at the same time
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| beyond lost |
[Wednesday
December 26th, 2007 @ 4:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
for the first time in my life i am searching for pills to make myself numb so i wont have to feel like this anymore...
this is not good.
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| TheBayArea |
[Tuesday
December 4th, 2007 @ 2:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
So here I am... laying in my hotel room in San Fran. It is amazing here.
Lets start from the beginning....
The flight to CA was long but I was about to stretch out and sleep because there were so few ppl on the plane. After checking out one of the venues we get to our hotel in San Jose-- the Crown Plaza. OMFG! this place was AMAZING-- i will post pics later on. It was the best bed ever. That night I went out with 3 of my guys to this club and danced and had a ton of fun. The next day we loaded into the San Jose Auditorium and did our shows, the next day we did a parade and another show and then loaded out. everything went very smoothly there. the next day was HORRIFIC. woke up at 5am- met in the lobby at 6am- got to San Fran, well i can't remember when- when we get there and i wait for my stuff to get off i find out the laundry mat i was going to use that i could walk to was closed on sundays- found another one 2 blocks away but had to be driven there since i can't drive the rental car bc i am not 25- i get that done and the actors get to the venue and i continue to get things ready- we do a show- we finish a show- unlike everyone else who gets a break i then have to go back to the laundry mat - i get back and we do a show- we finish a show- we load out a show- i wanted to cry i was tired from not being able to sit for more than 10 min. However that night i decided to treat myself and went and had steak and lobster with some of the cast-- i wont say how much it cost-- but it was worth it. the good part was that after all that we get 2 days off in San Fran. Today we all woke up a lil late so we just went to union square around 1 and looked in some stores, then ate, then took a cab back to the hotel to get everyone else so taht we could head to oakland where some of the cast were teaching master dance classes. So we caught a trolly to the train, took the train to oakland, and i took 2 of the 3 classes. it was so much fun. the last one was a stilettos/seduction class. it was a lot of fun. and now i am finally back. tomorrow we are going to get up earlier to see some of the sights and do some more shopping. and then its off to Washington!
but that is the update on me. I miss everyone and i am sorry i am not keeping good contact. very little time ya know. i'll update after Washington!!!
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[Sunday
November 18th, 2007 @ 1:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
last night i found myself sitting on the roof wrapped in a blanket trying to figure out where to run to..
went back inside and started to drive to boone...
decided after 4 shots of goldschlogger in a row that was a bad idea....
came back home-- threw back 2 more shots-- and passed out.....
it is not a good sign when the girl that never drinks-- does to try to get away from things......
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[Friday
November 9th, 2007 @ 1:46pm] |
So after a horrible trip to Atlanta... I get back to Charlotte... I call my mom to let her know I made it back okay...
she informs me Michelle ran away last night and they have no idea where she is...
and I don't know what to do...
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[Monday
November 5th, 2007 @ 8:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
so yeah
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| my head |
[Thursday
November 1st, 2007 @ 2:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
I am dizzy.... very very dizzy... because of that painting... and i'm at work... and all I wanna do is lay down...
oh and i have that uneazy feeling again...
please let this day end...
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| in your face |
[Sunday
October 28th, 2007 @ 9:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
hehehe... now i really am curled up in the bed with the "real" Captain!!
hahahahaha
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| itsnotfairitsnotfairitsnotfair |
[Friday
October 26th, 2007 @ 10:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
james blunt |
] |
this has probably been the worst trip home i have had in years. Not only should i have been killed on the way here... but then i have to "break up" with one of the most important people in my life, that has been there since high school. I just want to go back to charlotte, curl up in bed with captain and cry....
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| Buzz Buzz Buzz |
[Tuesday
October 23rd, 2007 @ 10:51pm] |
Well we are down to the wire with the show. Rehearsals start in Atlanta next week which means we HAVE to have just about everything done. That means a very busy stressful week for me as I attempt to get the last of the props together. I get the joy of bringing home some sort of project at night to work on so that I can continue it in the morning. At least the fun part of washing all the costumes is done. They were disgusting. They smell like the football locker room in high school. I get to do a LOT of painting tomorrow. And everything that I am actually doing I am just making up along the way. Which is awesome on one hand because I get to be creative, however on the other hand-- having no real direction is rough. I did impress the hell outta Jason when I figured out how to fix the wheelchair! w00t! Go me! I also just found out that I might get to goto Atlanta to help with rehearsals. So thats exciting!
One good thing about being so busy this week is that I don't really have that much time to miss Austin. I got to talk to him yesterday for a good while so that was cool. He seems to be having an amazing time in Japan. I just can't wait to see the goodies he brings back for us all.
I might get to goto a hockey game Friday which makes me uber happy. I'm going home to get my winterish clothes. I get to see Kevin, and most importantly Michelle.
Now to just figure out if I am going out to a Halloween party Thursday night with the most unlikely person to find me with in Charlotte...
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| Sunday Thoughts |
[Sunday
October 14th, 2007 @ 10:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
I don't know if its just me-- but I see a trend in all of our posts. Steff, Jo, Tracy, Rach, Me-- Makes me wonder if all graduates go through this. how do you make friends after school, when no one is around, and you don't know anyone? it sucks... i've been joking with drew lately cause he has a better social life than me. i did finally get out saturday night and kinda met some new people. going to try to keep this up and go out more. austin did come out with me saturday too. it was fun. doubt i can drag him out again but every once in a while is better than nothing :-D
then there is the whole figuring out what to do for the rest of our lives. i dont even know what i am passionate about anymore. i mean i LOVE theatre but i am really starting to think i don't want to do it forever. i mean maybe if it was something like broadway ya know-- but this is charlotte-- i just dont know anymore. might go back to school eventually and do the culinary thing-- or fashion marketing (thanks to austin waving course descriptions in my face) Bah I dont know
OH-- anyone wanna move to charlotte in January give me a ring!! i'm dealing with the fact that i will be living alone, but i would really prefer a roommate-- cause we all know me!
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| Revelations |
[Friday
October 5th, 2007 @ 12:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
So I've just had a FUCK BOONE moment.
So I'm going to stay in Charlotte and drink all weekend and have fun with my roommates instead of going to a town where my "friends" could give 2 shits rather I showed up for the show or not.
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| A Lil Scratchy |
[Thursday
October 4th, 2007 @ 8:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
So i missed work today because i am kinda sick. this sucks because i might miss tomorrow which will make me feel bad because i am going to Boone no matter what. I don't know how long i'm going to stay though. I will be there for the show, and then i guess depending on how i feel i will either stay till saturday or i might just head home. who knows. it will be good to see brandy at least, just hope nothing bad goes down. i find that no matter how much i miss how things were, and i miss school, that going back for any extended amount of time just feels-- odd. like i shouldn't be there. i do find it funny that it happens to be homecoming weekend though-- so i guess that is fitting.
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| Better late than never |
[Saturday
September 29th, 2007 @ 4:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
Ok-- Last but not least-- I will finally post since thats what we all seem to be doing now. Which i think is a good idea cause we all don't even get to talk that much. And yes Skeeze the phone is better- but when you have to keep playing phone tag with everyone just to talk to them its hard. There is no more knowing each others schedule so knowing when to call-- so hush up! Oh and sorry about last night I fell asleep by time you called.
Anywho-- um life is well.... bah. Work is good and all, but it gets frustrating at times because they hired me to do one thing and i got caught up in another so i am being torn in 3 different directions and am getting called down when i forget to do soemthing or if i start to work on one thing while i am waiting to get sent the details for another thing that should come first. And please do not get mad at me when you don't fully explain what I am doing and I forget a part of it but then immediately fix it when I find out-- i have never done things like that before-- so yes right now you need to give me better instructions than "do this"... but yes I am going on tour as Wardrobe Master and assistant SM-- don't know the pay but who cares its going to be an experience. I leave for San Jose sometime the last week on November, then to San Fran, then to 2 citys in WA, then to 3 cities in SC, then to Durham and then home for Christmas, first week in January off, and then back to work--- but from there i do not know if i actually still have a job or what i will be doing.-- so the "great" stability of that is always fun for me.
Not going to get into things with Austin and me because they are good- yet complicated-- and last week we made an agreement not to talk to anyone about anything.
The show I was stage managing for got pulled. Which yes sucks a lil, but i wanted to quit anyways and I get full pay-- so yeah-- free money-- yay!
I am going to Boone next weekend for the first show of the semester. And then I might go home to Raleigh the weekend after, but if not then very soon cause I miss Michelle and mom wants me to come home.
Drew is moving in this weekend so thats fun. His mom is out of town for the week so he has her dog-- and Captain is terrified of her even though scooter hasn't even tried to go after her. I guess in her own time she will stop being a scardy cat-- haha-- get it-- cause shes a cat? i know i know i crack myself up.
but yeah-- miss you guys-- glad we are all on speaking terms again--- if anyone is in Charlotte hit me up so we can see each other!
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| ATTENTION |
[Friday
September 28th, 2007 @ 11:54am] |
i will post an actual update when i am not at work
:-D
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| NICE--- REAL NICE |
[Thursday
September 13th, 2007 @ 11:22am] |
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A week or so ago I could no longer get into my lj account for some reason... the password had gotten changed... i didn't think anything of it and i changed it again... well after the post i just posted i now see why... i don't know who broke into my account and posted that as me, but i think it is a pretty childish shitty thing to do to someone... don't you have anything better to do with your life than post something as me having "me" say what a shitty person i am?
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| bowwowwow |
[Thursday
September 13th, 2007 @ 10:53am] |
So I am sitting here at my nifty new job, and I've kinda finished all the real work that was left for me today. All I have left is the "do when you get bored" project. And the 2 people that I am actually supposed to report to are out of town today. I know I could ask David if there was anything he needed me to do-- but i dunno-- just don't want to I guess.
So far the job has been great. I am really glad I decided to take this one instead of the more stable one-- odd i know but what seems more interesting-- working for a lighting supply company making $24,000/yr + benefits where all you do is sit behind a desk doing data entry, that is 30-45min away from your home and no real place around to get lunch from so you have to pack your lunch everyday--- OR a job that is currently only a 90 day contract making $550 a week(untaxed, although Austin is going to make me put back some of that money for when I have to do my taxes in January) where i never know what I am doing and i'm around fun artsy people who take my thoughts and ideas and use them, that is 15min away from home and i can go home for lunch or one of the gazillon places around here--- it may not be as "stable" as the other one, but hell i'm 22, i am ok with not being stable right now.
but i guess i should try to get my bored project done...
doop doop doop
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| Raggs to Riches? |
[Tuesday
August 28th, 2007 @ 4:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
So I- like most of us- have been on this epic job hunt right? I mean I did go get a job at AE for the time being thinking I would be getting WAY more than I am-- and even though Austin wants me to just tell them to shove it and look for another job I think I shall keep it as I look for another. I send out a ton of resumes every week and I have gotten some e-mails back but then they just don't work out.
And now I am posed with a very interesting opportunity. A girl in my cast for Killing Time asked me to send her my resume last night so I did. She called today asking about my costume work and how I felt about travel. Then informs me they would like to talk to me about touring with Raggs (this kids TV show) as the head of costume and props-- and that if I didn't want to do that then hiring me on a project by project basis to do some freelance work. It would be from Oct- Dec which isn't long at all, but its still an awesome opportunity. I still need to get a LOT more info about it before I make a decision-- but like my dad said this is kinda what I went to school for isn't it? First things like this and then next who knows what? A broadway show? I know that is high hopes but it could happen.
Question is could I handle it? Being on the road away from my family and friends and austin and captain. I mean not the 2 month gig-- i am pretty sure I could deal with that... but what if that turns into something bigger?
things just got more interesting-- but at least this time it is in a good way :-D
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